I’m actually annoyed with my current roommate right now, the one that’s taking microbiology with me, not my actual roommate, Mi Jin. She’s a workaholic and she doesn’t have a real life. No social life or any time to breathe, all she does is study because she’s so paranoid of failing. She’s actually not naturally smart, but she’s a really hard worker. While that’s great and everything, she’s been getting on my nerves because she’s obsessed with studying. I know this class is impossibly hard and our professor is freaking crazy, but she has to realize, I AM NOT HER. I can’t sit on my ass for 12 hours straight, no food and watch lecture capture and study nonstop like she can. I need a small break after every hour or else I’m going to get burnt out so fast I’m going to want to drop out. I’m really annoyed with her right now because she’s been trying to tell me what to do. I don’t like it when other people speak for me because what they say isn’t exactly what I mean. She keeps talking to me like she knows me better than I know myself. She’s so obsessed with studying, she says there’s no time to do anything else. “Don’t go grocery shopping, it’s a waste of time.” “Don’t clean the bathroom, it’s a waste of time.” “Don’t do the dishes, it’s a waste of time.” “Don’t talk to your friends, it’s a waste of time.” She had the nerve to say all of this shit to me. She was the person that caused me serious drama during the school year because she went around telling people I don’t want to see them because they bother me and I can’t study. Hold up bitch, who the fuck are you to speak for me? Did I ask you to talk for me? She caused SO much tension between me and a lot of people, and it made me so upset and made it difficult for me to break the ice again with some people. She doesn’t want us to clean anything in the house or cook or buy food, she wants her dad to do it all. She wanted her dad to come to the apartment and clean everything for us. Wow, really? When are you going to grow up? The whole point of living on our own in an apartment is to teach us how to manage on our own. I’m getting really pissed because everything I say, her only response is: it’s a waste of time. Bitch, talking to you is a waste of time. I’m just really pissed because she keeps trying to tell me what to do, and all she does is study, she’s terrible at managing anything else in her life except studying.

Studying isn’t everything. It’s a huge part of building our future, but you know what? We never know what’s going to happen to us the next minute. What if tomorrow I get hit by a trolley and end up in the hospital? What if I die in a shooting or robbery in my ghetto neighborhood? Our lives can be altered at any moment and it’s not the end of the world if we don’t get perfect grades. It might sound cold and selfish, but honestly, I don’t care if I lose friends because that’s part of life. Grow up, get over it, and move on. If I end up dying tomorrow, then alright, things happen for a reason. God planned something else for me. I don’t like religion, but I have respect for people that are strong in their faith and put Him first always. Because that keeps us sane and keeps us on a path. It’s a good motivation.

It’s not the end of the world. So deal with it.

It’s only the second day of classes and I feel like I dug myself my own grave… fml…

Today was the first day of classes… it was long… 2 hours of lecture and 3 hours of lab back to back. But it was good. Everybody’s warned us about how immensely hard microbio is because his questions are so tricky on the exam, but the upperclassmen were so nice to give us their notes and when we were in lecture today, pretty much everything was said word for word from their notes with a few new additions or some cut outs. I’m really nervous for this class but I feel like I can do it because I only have 1 class to worry about and I’m living with 2 students that have a 4.0 gpa…. SO. I have an AWESOME  study group before classes even began! Anyway… living on my own in an apartment and cooking our own food is going pretty well so far. My friend Peter lives in the room across the hall from me and he cooked us korean food for lunch today and it was really yummy! I’m so excited today because I’m getting my new phone soon. I don’t know if it was delivered yet and it’s with the guys downstairs or something but I’m so excited to finally have a phone again! I’ve only been phoneless for a few days… less than a week and it’s been a real hassle because I’ve had to use my friends phone every time I went out and needed to make a phone call or text a friend. It’s also really hard because we have no internet in our apartment so I can’t make calls or text people through my laptop. However today I was lucky and I’m able to catch the neighbor’s internet. It’s actually pretty decent signal in my room but still a bit slow. But for free internet it’s better than nothing! I hope we get internet soon because we need to use lecture capture in case we miss something in class… ahhhh… I’m just really happy I’m not in this shithole by myself. I have two genuses living next door to me that’s really supportive and willing to help me out if I’m in desperate need. They’re such awesome people. I really need to work my ass off to stay in my program because I was talking to upperclassmen last week… and their gpa requirement for the pharmacy program was only a 2.3 but for US it’s a 3.0… they amped it up at the beginning of our year. They also have this new requirement that if you don’t pass a class with at least a C-, you have to repeat the class… the upperclassmen didn’t have that requirement before either. Through out the year when I was talking to upperclassmen, they would tell me stories of how HAPPY they would be if they got a 60 or a 50 on an exam…and I was like how do you stay in the program if the gpa requirement is a 3.0? but then they told me theirs was only a 2.3 and they they didn’t have to repeat a class of they failed it as long as their gpa was at the minimm….

Finals are seriously meant to drop our grade. I did so well throughout the semester, but because finals are back to back… it was almost impossible to study for them….. all my A’s and B’s just disappeared after i received my final grades. FML. -_- I didn’t sleep throughout finals week.. the most sleep I got was like 2 hours of sleep. I had to pull legit all nighters for my chem and bio exam and that fked my grade more than helped… I had a good B+ or A- in chem and bio and after the final my grade dropped through the floor. -_- I am so screwed because I have to take microbiology over the summer and people tell me it’s going to be really hard to get anything above a C average in that class and I got so scared… but I have to take microbio over the summer or else I’m going to be held back a year because I have to take a year long of physics instead of the semester long physics… Finals are over but the hell is just about to begin. I go back to school in 10 days and I’m going to study now. I am so determined to get good grade in microbio.